Wednesday, November 30, 2005

we did it!

(I was trying to upload a picture of last night's choir concert on here; after several tries it inexplicaby will not work. Oh well. Imagine that you see on a black stage a bunch of university students in black pants and white, green and red tops, with poinsettias for brooches, singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas". )

In other news, the week is slowly being lived. Two papers have been passed in. Two more remain. The fifth can wait til next week; the class has, thank heaven, been granted an extension. This Friday, the traditional coffee with Tracy and then a party at 610 Reid! That's right, I meant your house, Jan and Gill...what are you going to do about it?

Bahaha.. I'm losing my mind.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

tradition


Just like last year...in the midst of the madness.

The rough drafts of my philosophy and sociology papers are in the computer, saved and brewing. In a few days I'll look at them again, hopefully detecting the rough edges and smoothing them down. Three other papers still need to be written, percolated and poured off.

Choir has a concert this week and takes part in midnight mass tomorrow night. I waver between worrying that we will all forget the notes, and full confidence that we'll do just fine.

I'm going to go speak with Dr. Secord about the Environmental Studies program. And between now and the end of the week I would also like to maintain my sanity and get enough sleep. Is it too much to ask that I get all this done with panache?

I can't wait for Christmas. Ho-lee.

Thursday, November 24, 2005

idea

I'm putting this out there in the public domain, unless of course someone has already done it:

A blog titled: "oh, [blog] it!".


Oh. It appears some guy named Mark has already done that. But my version has square parentheses ( [ ] ) in it, and so is far superior. Clearly, if "Mark" had been a little more interesting, he would have had some visitors since January, and they would have been real people, not spambots with "Brand New News from the Timber Industry!"

It's clever. At least I think so. Now back to my paper I go.

this is just to say...

...that it is snowing here, soft little flakes that powder everything including hair, tree trunks and sidewalks, and that I'm spending the day inside, getting a paper on Aristotle written. It is my least favorite out of all the ones I have to write, mostly because it feels like a vague topic given how little we Intro students really know about the guy. We're meant to write on the relationship between friendship and virtue, which really means write on what we've been taught in the lectures about friendship and virtue. That's OK, though, because I did get a fair bit out of the lectures. Last night my attempts at starting the essay were pretty rough, because I was tired and my thoughts were not lined up: it resulted in me playing a lot of Solitaire, and eating too many raisins and sunflower seeds, like a mad squirrel, avoiding the reality of the computer screen. But now I've had some sleep and some good coffee, and feel more focussed. Huzzah for focus!

Also, I am attempting to make beans from scratch. I'm following the directions in The Enchanted Broccoli Forest, and using white navy beans. So far they have boiled over twice because I was out of the room and inattentive, but this hasn't dampened my spirits. My goal: Baked Beans with Molasses. Tonight! If all goes well, I'm going to start doing more cooking with dried beans, because, though time-consuming, it is very frugal and they are really easy to store. Watch out, world of bean recipes: here I come!

In other news, my African Violets which sit on my windowsill are blooming. They are so pretty! I got them last year at the ACORN fair, after volunteering there, and they survived the summer in Cape Breton, and a re-pot. Now they are putting out as many leaves as the new pots will let them, and flowering. The left one is a deep purple, the middle one is a rich violet/blue, and the right one is a pretty pink. They look so tropical and lush against the scene out the window of a snowy backyard in the Maritimes.

Also, I registered for ENVS 3006. This means that next semester I am going to start studying, in depth and seriously, with a professor I really respect, a subject that has held my attention since I was a little girl, idolizing David Suzuki. I'm excited and scared, but mostly excited. Hoo ha!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

currently...



Current Music: Common talking to Gilles Peterson on BBC Radio 1, streaming over Real Player. Talking about collaboration and how other people add to your creative work. Lots of examples of songs, beats and lyrics that make you want to dance, dance, dance!

Current Desktop Picture: See above. I found it somewhere on the Internet I no longer know, and think it is pretty. The color of the sky by the horizon is such a pearly watermelon!

Current Good News: I have made up my mind somewhat about my direction in university! I'm going to pursue a degree in English and Sociology, with a focus somehow in Environmental Studies. I feel so good about this! I went in to see Shauna Stennick (academic advisor) this afternoon and we talked about my prospects and options. Apparently I'm on the right track for this, and won't need to change too much this year. I've come to the point where I feel that, though my year and a half of trying things on for size was useful, I'm ready to settle down, as it were. Focus on something I'm passionate about and feel is relevant to my life. Woot!

Current Weather: Rain! Pouring down all around like ablutions. Everyone carries umbrellas or are soaking wet. Even the flat parts of the sidewalks are covered, form little lakes. On my way home I passed a man using a hose to wash leaves out of his driveway. I looked at him and he looked at me. "No-one said I was normal!" He said.

Current Clothes: Brown camisole, black zip-up hoodie, green and black knit skirt, bare feet.

Current Plans for The Week: Five papers to write, in: Gender Studies, Women Writers, Philosophy, Sociology, and English 2006. Choir tonight and Thursday. Gilmore Girls to be taped tonight. Lots of time to be writing and studying, and listening to tunes. Sleep!

Current Last Words:
"Don’t they know we’re all doomed?

This politeness disarms me: this grace, this lightness. The day is long but the hours fly by – the night and its terrors forgotten in a stream of greetings and departures. There is time for a chat, for a laugh, a renunciation of injustice, for a kiss on the cheek.

Maybe this is all we can do, after all."
--Martin Julien, www.openbrackets.com

Saturday, November 19, 2005

dance with me

Krista and I went to the Playhouse last night to catch "an unbridled sensual indulgence"--modern dance in the hands of a woman who is purported by world dance critics to be a limit-pushing genius . The Compagnie Marie Chouinard, (cost: only ten buckaroos for students), was in little old Fredericton, and turned to be, to my novice senses, everything the reviews said it would.

After the first few minutes that it takes to get used to the medium (and stop thinking, "OK, this is silly--why is she flailing like that?"), it becomes like watching a dream. There are strange sounds and movements of the human body, and it is sometimes beautiful and sometimes disconcerting. Sometimes shocking, orgiastic; other times fragile and sweet. (Here are more pictures and write-ups at the Canada Council of the Arts.) Through thier bodies the dancers express the many emotions and states that our humanity encompasses; by the end of the dance you are wondering how it will shake down. Will the human beings you are watching writhing be overwhelmed by the experience, or will they find some kind of peace?

Which reminds me, I have five essays due in two weeks. I am tired and stuffed with pizza (what we were bribed with to sing with the church choir in the midnight mass, and come in on a Saturday to practice), and am feeling half-lazy, half-motivated. It's cold outside--anywhere between minus five and zero. This is only the beginning--Fredericton is merely sharpening its teeth. Meanwhile, I (along with many other students in the city, no doubt) am attempting to overcome the November doldrums, fire up the Ol' Inspiration (a cantankerous woodstove, though she gets the job done) and get through these assignments without losing that joie de vivre I so like to possess.

So to aid me through this two week "crunch time", I'm going to remember that Marie Chouinard's dancers, at the end of both Etude no. 1 and Chorale, made peace with the machine and the divine which seemed to control them. The single dancer of Etude ended up back where she began, in a cross-legged sit, visibly shaken by her experience, but in a calm, collected place. The mass of dancers of Chorale finished in a happy sleeping puppy pile at the front of the stage, the blue and soft-orange lights lending a glow to thier lithe bodies. Two dancers lifted themselves from the pile to blow kisses at each other, and then, like two irreverent gargoyles, turned to the audience to blow them kisses too. The lights fade to black.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

gender studies

Luke: "You're not happy that [the contractors] are gone [a week early]."

Lorelai: "No, I'm happy, but I'm sad at the same time. Haven't you ever been with a woman before?"

--Gilmore Girls, just this week.

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

squirrel news

Today as I was walking home from school, I looked up into a tree and saw instead of a leaf, a squirrel hanging off the end of a branch. I did a double take, then stopped and looked. He (she?) was perched about a foot from the end of a thin branch, his little furry body all tucked up, eating the seeds that were left dangling. Just hanging out, eating seeds, flicking his tail every now and again. I stood and looked at him for a second, then said, "Are you for real?" Laughed to myself, and continued on my way.

PS The weather here was snow, now it is rain and is turning things to slush. This morning felt like Christmas morning! Happy happy happy...

Saturday, November 12, 2005



I’m sitting here, just returned from an outing to the market with two dear friends, stuffed from the falafel roll that was brunch, and the bowl of latté that came after. The air outside is as chill as December, and the bare branches showing the sky and the trunks of trees make it feel even more like we took a leap into winter. There are only three weeks remaining of classes; this semester feels like it flew by. I know that it didn’t, in fact it was grueling at times with the intensity of emotions that went up and down without much notice, but isn’t that always the way at the end of something?

Because it was Remembrance Day on Friday, we in the schooling system have had a long weekend. My Thursday classes finished at noon, so I’ve been in “weekend mode” since Thursday afternoon. It’s really nice to have so much time to myself, actually. I’ll be honest; at first so much time to do whatever I wanted was a little daunting. No boy? No big party plans? Schoolwork to do, but no real anxiety about it? But…what is it that I like to do when I’m by myself? Do I even remember?

I’ve really come to rely on schedules, I realized. They are certainly useful when it comes to untangling the mass of “Things to Do” that is a successful university career, and it keeps the stress down. But when it comes to down time, being still in “make a list” mode is actually a bad thing. Not having one causes me to freak out a little inside, and having one is pretty anal, and asking to be disappointed. You can’t plan a weekend, or hope to make everyone’s schedules work out. Weekends don’t work like that—they just happen.

So what have I done this weekend? Well, I took a long, hot bath, and because no roommates were home, I had the doors between the bathroom and my room open, so I could hear the Sade album I was playing fairly loud. I had candles, rubber duckies, a bath bomb: the whole bit. It was grand. I’ve cooked myself nice meals, tasted a new wine (a Cabernet Sauvignon/Tempranillo blend from Spain, quite nice), had a fair amount of delicious coffee, talked to a friend in Australia, daydreamed about Australia, gone walking, been to a Remembrance Day ceremony, gone to lunch with girlfriends, and even done some schoolwork. I’ve indulged in reading Vogue (it is so colorful and exotic—the lifestyles they depict are nothing like mine, though I’d like to hope I’m a little glamorous), made a plan to go to a poetry reading with a friend, and am tossing around the idea of a bike ride, even though it’s chilly outside.

And it’s only Saturday morning, still! Though I know I needed time like this, I am now convinced of the purpose of down time. Those countries like France, Germany, et al, who give their citizens not just the right to time off but the enforcement of vacation time, know what they’re doing. People can’t work productively if they haven’t been able to taste the fine pleasures of doing nothing at all, if they feel like it. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some things to do. Or do I? We shall see!

PS If you have time you need filled, allow me to make some suggestions:

1. Read a newspaper. Get a paper copy, or go online to: http://www.theglobeandmail.com/ or http://www.nytimes.com/ . Mind you, you can't scribble in the margins of the online ones, nor can you draw on the faces of world leaders you dislike. But they are free, and environmentally friendly.

2. Look at pretty jewelry you could never in your life afford.

3. Plan a room for that kid you'll have someday.

4. If all else fails, decide where you're travelling next by spinning a globe, then find out how much it'll set you back to actually go there.

Tuesday, November 8, 2005

whatever the weather

Today's a bright and cold, clear day. The birches outside my window have lost all their leaves and are as white as bones. That's a cliche image, I know, but they really do look like bones: the screen window still up in the frame obscures the details that make them birches, so their papery trunks and branches appear smooth and bleached. The branches end in red tips that squiggle off into space like rivers, or wrinkles. The sky is a homogenous blue. The air out there is cold, somewhere between freezing and 5 degrees, and the wind is up, sending waves of leaves down the paved streets.

Yesterday, Mat (my little brother, who is not so little anymore, standing a good 5 inches taller than me, and sporting a goatee on his handsome chin; even though he's 18 he could easily pass for 25) and I were walking down Kings College Road. I'd taken him to my day's slate of classes, and we were returning to my apartment where Mum was waiting, no doubt doing a Cryptoquote or something. The wind was intense: leaves were whipping up from the street and hitting us in the face! The clouds, having rained earlier, were puffy but still grey and present. We were yabbering on about some topic, the environment, or philosophy, or maybe just the fact that we had to duck to avoid the leaves' offense, and suddenly we looked up and there was:

The Biggest Rainbow I've Ever Seen!

It was a perfect 180 degrees, doubled, and at one point the bottom rainbow, already a clear ROY G BIV, began to shimmer with two or three "baby prisms" underneath it, sort of mirror images of the strongest colors, the darker colors. It looked like God borrowed it from the Care Bears or something, if you believe in that sort of thing. (God... or the Care Bears.) We gawked for a minute, then ran the rest of the way home, alerting Marlo and Mum to run outside and look! look! at the huge rainbow! before it goes away!

Something else I love about the wind outside these days: the way it makes my new blue scarf smell when I come inside. It's actually more of a shawl, but thin enough that I can fold its electric blue length around my neck like a scarf too. Needless to say, I'm wearing it everywhere these days, inside and out, it's just that pretty. And when I come inside from a windy walk, it smells cool and fresh, like a cat's fur or a small child's cheeks.

Mum and Mat were here, as I've said, and now are gone back to Cape Breton. There is a long weekend this week, due to Rememberance Day, and I'm looking forward to the time to just..chill..out. Take hot baths and long bike rides. Watch films. Do schoolwork.

Wait, how did that last one sneak in there? Oh right...it's always there. Good ol' albatross, how do I love thee...

Saturday, November 5, 2005

all hail parsnips!


I went to the market this morning with Gill and Marlo. Waking up at 8 am on a Saturday seems incongruous at first, but then once you're up and dressed, with a new blue scarf swung jauntily around your neck, with the cloth bags on your shoulder, walking down the leaf-covered sidewalk, keeping warm on a chilly morning, it feels right.

I bought:
--parsnips
--carrots
--eggs
--bread
--yogurt
--old cheddar cheese
--cottage cheese
--tomatoes
--salmon fillets
--a few Lebanese snacks
--a coffee with Gill, not at the market.
--the new Vogue, also not at the market.

All in all, a successful morning. After navigating the not-so-crowded hallways of the market, enjoying the smells and noises of food, drink, products, babies, and families, and filling our cloth bags with purchases, Gill and I headed downtown for a hot coffee. We lingered in the coffee shop, reading parts of the Weekend Globe--Gill the "Focus" and me the "Style". Now I'm back home, listening to Jewel and about to get some work done.

The picture above is from the site for Mariquita Farm, a CSA out in California. They have a list that answers that puzzling question: why buy local food, anyway? The pictures they have are really pretty too, so even if you just like photogenic foodstuffs, check them out.

Also, I just wanted to mention the 'elephant in the corner'--the fact that Seb and I have broken it off. Pretty much everyone who reads this already knows, so there you go. It's been a shitty week, but also a really "teaching" week. I've learned a lot about...oh, how to say it, the depths one can go to and still come back from? And how much one's 'support net' of friends really means. I'm not going to go into it, but I did want to mention it.

Once more: all hail parsnips!

Tuesday, November 1, 2005

what the ... ?

It is ludicrously warm here for November 1rst: 15 degrees Celsius. I wore jeans and a corduroy blazer to school today. November! Need I mention past Novembers, where you bundle up against the chill and tuck your ears into your scarf, huddling against the wind and the smell of snow on the air? There are supposed to be copious rains turning the leaves to brown mush in the streets, and indoor coffee klatches, and dreams of next spring. Not this! Everyone else is saying how nice it is--not me! I prefer my seasons well delineated, not all over the place, fall acting like summer when it feels like it, winter refusing to snow. It's strange, frankly, to look out across the river and the view from campus and see a summery haze in the air, on November first. I don't like it.

Anyone else's thoughts on seasons? Weather patterns? Global warming? No judgements here! Bring it out...

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